Ask Rene’
Dear Rene’
I am a new dancer – have been taking WC Swing lessons for about three months. It really irritates me that when I am on the dance floor, the men who dance with me try to teach me things while I am dancing with them. I know I am nowhere near being a good dancer, but I am trying – but when I go out social dancing, I just want to have a good time. How can I stop these guys from giving me “dance lessons?”
Dear Stanwood
This is something that has happened to all us girls… even some of the dance teachers. I remember this one fellow that asked me to dance. After jerking me around the floor for three minutes with some outrageously horrible arm leads (and he was way off the beat), he told me I had lousy timing. Sometimes it seems that the worst dancers are the ones most highly motivated to show other people “how to do it.” It‘s interesting, isn‘t it, that it‘s mostly the guys who do this. Okay, here are some things you could do:
If your lead starts giving you instruction, wait for your chance to say something, then thank him and tell him that you are there just to dance tonight but you will keep what he said in mind and ask your instructor about it later. If he persists, just remember it will only be three or four minutes. Then you graciously thank him for the dance… but the next time he asks you to dance, set clear boundaries before you get out onto the floor (“I‘d love to dance with you but please don‘t try to teach me anything new right now.”). If he doesn‘t get the message, just beg off if he asks you again. Of course if you see an interesting move, you can ask the person to show you how to do it.
Listen up Guys. DO NOT TRY TO TEACH SOMEBODY SOMETHING UNLESS THEY ASK!
Remember, if your follower is having a tough time, lead something more basic. Your goal is to make sure that your partner has a “good dance.” Sometimes that might mean all you lead is a left side pass and a push break for three minutes… but that‘s okay. Then you escort your follow off the floor, and tell her it was great dancing with her. It‘s just a dance, not a relationship.
Supportively, Rene’